Interrogation with a smile....

Indonesian nature is to be blunt. The language doesn’t really use please and thankyou, they have it but just don’t use it in the way that we do. Does it mean Indonesians are impolite? Not in the slightest. Just a lack of formally polite words and a seeming disregard for privacy.

Handshakes are a bit odd here too. I remember the first time I shook an Indonesian’s hand. The pained expression on his face, along with the eagerness he had to let go of my less-than-steel-like grip, was obvious. Along with a reluctance to shake hands on departure, this led me to believe I’d made something of a social ‘faux-pas’.

It turns out hand shakes are more symbolic here. I was brought up by my father to believe that a weak handshake was a mark of the man you were shaking hands with. A weak handshake meant possibly a wimp, possibly not to be trusted and at the very least, damnably insincere. (My dad was a copper and is a northerner to boot so weak handshakes were especially unmanly) “shakes hands like a girl, he does” still brings a smile on remembering an occasion when he talked about an example of the above description.

But, back to the story. March 18th found me writing blog entries outside a small warung in Tanjung Pandan. Located next to the beach I was drinking delicious local black coffee,  watching the world go by and getting inspiration for my writing. I was sat adjacent to a small park with kids play equipment and a great view of the beach and receding tide.

Do you know that feeling you get when someone’s stood directly behind you, staring at you? Hairs on the back of your neck are on alert and our nascent spider sense slightly tingling? Well, that’s what caused me to turnaround in my chair. There behind me was a short, stout Indonesian guy with a beaming smile and wearing an immaculate Batik shirt in hues of orange and black. ”Hello” he said. “How old are you?” What do you say to this? Do you look angry that someone’s interrupting your afternoon coffee?  Do you look perplexed at the question? Do you just ignore the question and hope he’ll go away? My time here has taught me many things and the first is to relax and see where it goes.

“I’m 44” i replied in bahasa Indonesian, “how old are you?” i continued. Ignoring the question, he carried on, “Are you married?” This is all extremely normal. Indonesians, especially those that don’t meet many westerners, are ridicolously curious. Turning the tables, I stood up and towered over him (I’m 5’9” by the way) holding out my hand i said in Bahasa Indonesian “My name’s Daron, what’s your name sir?” he looked at my hand a moment, maybe he’d met a bule from northern England before, then extended his hand, smiling all the time. Our palms touched, just the very slightest interlocking before quickly releasing. This is how Indonesians shake hands.

Turns out his name was  Ramansah, he’s 43 and he’s a govenment official. He was at the beach this Sunday afternoon with his wife, kids, brother and brothers family and wanted to try out his English. It’s not that he didn’t respect my privacy, it’s that I’m a westerner, on his island, and he speaks a little English and wanted to practice.  The questions came thick and fast and each time I asked a question in bahasa Indonesian he seemed a mixture of disappointed and frustrated that I wouldn’t just sit there and answer him. Still, the conversation continued and I continued to answer his questions. At one point he invited me to his house for dinner but I declined, partly because the thought of an extended interrogation over dinner wasn’t really appealing. Looking back I think it was a wasted opportunity and it always helps to know people in government. Still, I have his number and I’ll call next time I visit the island. Probably.

He left following another brief handshake and deliberately drove his car in a contrary direction tothe one in which he needed to go, just to give the family the chance of seeing up close the guy he’d been talking to. All of them beamed smiles in my direction, waving their hands.

Intertesting.