Customary Confusion #1

One of the things that never fails to bring a smile to my face every day is the differences in Asian and Western customs. I know there are huge disparities around the globe such as the "ok" sign being acceptable in some places whilst not in others, but in Indonesia there are some great ones. I do hope my Indonesian friends and colleagues wont mind me poking a little fun at this area as I'm sure many of our customs seem strange to them and I'm absolutely positive that a trip to the west would bring about the same perplexion (probably with our attitude to beaurecracy in particular!).

Noses
Let's begin with the nose. Bule, as westerners are commonly referred to, have generally bigger noses than our Asian brothers and sisters. This in itself can be cause for much hilarity, pointing or staring depending on your situation. The customary divide is that we Westerners do tend to refrain from inspecting the contents of our noses at regular and often public occasions.
My father once taught me a small rhyme as a kid;
"you can pick your friends,
and you can pick your nose,
but you can't pick your friend's nose"
Now admittedly even in Asia I have never seen anyone picking another person's nose, but the acceptability of the second line of the rhyme is extraordinary. Were it ever considered as an Olympic event, The Gold would indeed come to Indonesia I feel.
In particular, students of all ages quite happily sit in class "raiding the snotbox" and to say this is off-putting when explaining the formula for passive voice is an understatement. However, this behaviour is not limited to students. No sir, no indeedy. I have been physically stood in front of policemen, immigration officials and much more frighteningly, waiters, who all believe this is an acceptable past-time.
The thing that makes this slightly more confusing is that it is considered rude to blow your nose in public. The use of a handkerchief or tissue is frowned upon!

Driving
The customs in this area are not only confusing, but if you don't have your wits about you they can be downright dangerous and I should point out that there is no test of driving ability in Indonesia. As long as you can afford the cost of the driving licence (Rp300,000 for Indonesians, Rp500,000 for Bule) that is sufficient to get you onto the road.
Consider two lanes of traffic. As in the UK, Indonesians drive on the left hand side of the road. Most of the time! Quite often you will encounter a bicycle or a motorbike and extraordinarily at times a car or a truck, coming at you on your side of the road. The reaction to this in the UK would be hand gestures, shouting at the other driver (window up or down optional depending on level of frustration) or liberal use of the horn and flashing of beam headlights.
These responses highlight other customary differences. Firstly, Indonesians rarely show anger. I have heard stories from other drivers where people have been knocked off of bikes, picked themselves up, dusted themselves down and depending on the state of said bike walked or ridden off. Once even with a smile and a wave! Hence any show of anger is treated with confusion. (NB. There isn't really any insurance here either. Rather the common acceptance is that the biggest vehicle must be at fault and therefore stands any costs)
Secondly, the horn and beam lights. here these are used purely to let other drivers know you're in the vicinity or that you have no intention of stopping. Angry use of these two accessories purely causes yet more confusion and a long, single blast of the horn would make most people assume it's just broken.
Finally, as I mentioned at the beginning of this posting hand signals have different meanings here to the point that you'll probably end up complementing the other person hehehe.
My point of view on this subject comes from having held bike and car licences for the last year, regularly riding a motorbike around the area an also having an amazing view of the main road from the smoking area on the first floor of our building.
Do not be tempted to adopt any highway code that you use in your own country. Giving way to traffic at roundabouts and junctions seems more instinctive than controlled by rules and certain vehicles such as angkots (cheap minibus taxis), taxis and ojeks (motorbike taxis) seem to be a law unto themselves.
Tip: drive as if you're the only person on the road and have major difficulty parking and you'll fit in nicely.

Punctuality
As a Brit, I'm used to the different cultural values of this custom. In Spain, "Manjana time" is the standard where whatever it is you're waiting for will happen soon. Probably.
Depending on exactly what it is you're waiting for, this laissez-faire attitude is usually pretty funny. Most people experience it in a holiday context so are usually more relaxed and accepting. In a working capacity it must be more frustrating.
We Brits are usually less forgiving when something at work needs to be done. It's part of our DNA make up. We're just raised that way.
Our reaction is impatience and this shows in a few ways. This could be despairing or exasperated looks generally looking for what it is you're waiting for.It could escalate to finger tapping or grinding of teeth or possibly starting a random argument with some innocent bystander. These usually occur before the final "flipping out" stage which can also be referred to as "losing it". Quite often in this situation a "messenger gets shot" as the impatient person finally "goes off the deep end".
Any time spent in Indonesia quickly leads you to the realisation that time as a concept is arbitrary. Certain things you'd expect to be expedited quite quickly, usually aren't.
1. Getting your passport stamped on arrival back from Singapore with a new visa. (relatively long. Depending on just how many times one guy can look at every page of your passport without ever making eye contact with you in person)
2. Getting an Indonesian mate to help you sort out finance on a new motorbike. (never-ending. Currently I've been waiting nearly 5 months for this to arrive and the list of excuses recently went from laughable to just sad)
3. From choosing a new shirt to leaving the shop with your purchase. Way longer than you'd think!
4. Waiting for some teenage students to get to class. Hmmmmm.