Unusual Suggestion at the Cinema

Went to the movies with Uciel tonight to watch Jack the Giant Slayer. The movie was pretty good but nowhere near as weird as the order for refreshments.

Me: saya mau popcorn mixed, kercil
Server: POPCORN MIXED KERCIL SATU! ada lagi pak?
Me: ya, coke satu, tidak pakai es
Server: kamu mau gel?
Me: Gel? dengan coke?
Server: ya.
Me: gel apa?
Server: gel lychee Pak
Me: betul? gel dengan coke?
Server: betul Pak.
Me: ini enak?
Server: tidak
Me: ok. Tidak pakai gel.

weird.

The darkest hour is just before dawn

Back in 1986, I'd just moved out of home into a pokey bedroom in a shared house on Bishopthorpe Road in York. My wings had already been exercised a couple of times in preparation for leaving home. When I was eleven, I'd deliberately missed the school bus one morning and turned round and went back home. Once there, I retrieved the rucksack I'd packed the night before, checked all of the essentials were in there; sleeping bag, pocket money, sheath-knife, and got changed.

Now dressed and having draped my school tie over a dining room chair as a reminder that I'd once been a member of the family, I locked the door and set off.

Most of you are going to be thinking "where?" "where does an eleven year old boy run away from home to?". Don't get me wrong, there are enough sad and tragic cases of kids who have no love in their lives. Whose childhoods are blighted by illness or disability or an uncaring society. But I wasn't one of those. I was a slightly spoiled eleven year old whose brother knew more ways to wind him up than was good for an eight year old. I told myself, it was either running away or fratricide. It had come to that.

So for the past week I'd been concocting a plan. I'd leave home as normal, head for the school bus, wait long enough for my parents to go to work before enacting my scheme. I made it all the way, by mixture of hitching and bus, to my Nan and Pop's house in Durham. And, it was a good 5 or 6 hours before my dad came to pick me up. That was a pretty grim drive back, I can tell you. Maybe I'll write more about this another time.

The second break for freedom came when I was 16. A particularly adolescent-sided argument with my mother ended with the words "that's it, I'm leaving". To which my mother replied that I shouldn't let the closing door hit me too hard on the way out. With no other way to save face, I stormed upstairs, packed a bag and booked myself into a B&B on the very same Bishopthorpe Road. Why? Well, I had my freedom, didn't I. I was on my own, out to make my way in the big, wide world. And where better to start than two miles from home in a bed and breakfast.

We had no internet in those days. We did have phones, but it didn't cross my mind to call a few places and find out how much B&B's cost. I just picked the nicest looking one and checked in. These days you have to show ID and sign registers. Back then, I handed over some cash to a small, grandmotherly type and in return I got a key. When I looked at the remnants of my wallet, I realised I'd probably got a maximum of 4 or 5 days living in this sort of luxury. The world turned and I returned to the family home. The pretext was that I'd forgotten underwear, but I think we all knew that that was as close as anyone was going to get to an I'm sorry. That came later.

So, 1986 and here I am. With my dad's help, I'm moved into a box room just outside York's Roman wall. I have a job, trainee manager in a bingo hall, and I have a place all of my own. What I don't have is any experience. I've always been adaptable and am pretty resourceful when push comes to shove, but that morning, when the electricity ran out and I didn't have 50p for the electricity meter and the small room heater that it powered, I understood one version of this blog's title.

Why mention all of this now? well, here I am nearly thirty years later and it's 5 am on a Thursday. I'm living in Indonesia, my wife is lying next to me and I'm sweating like a pig on a spit. Yep, the electricity has gone off and the meter needs feeding. Where's my wallet and torch.....

Rumah Sakit - trans. Sick Room

Hospitals, wherever you are in the world, are not great places. Lets be honest, the three reasons to be there are; you're sick, you're visiting someone who's sick or you're involved in the treatment of someone who's sick. Whichever cateogary you fall into, it's not a great place to be.
I have never worked in a hospital (maybe I should add that to my bucket list) but I have been a patient, both in and out, and I have visited many people who've had to stay in one over the years.
I was once told doctors are in the fortunate position of being able to bury their mistakes, and laughed. My current situation has caused me to reconsider the humour.
Wait a minute, the laughter can continue for a moment as I tell you I'm currently suffering from Gout. This condition, depending on your age and global residence, will either draw head scratching perplexityand a vague recollection that you thought it was a type of Dutch cheese or you'll have a visual image of an old WWI officer, glass of port in one hand and a lump of stilton in the other, scowling due to the exasperating pain in his foot.
Let me tell you, I'm 45 years old, have a fairly healthy diet (c'mon, I live in Southeast Asia) and the opportunity to eat rich food died with my old UK salary. I liike a beer, but drink nowhere remotely close the amounts I drank when in the UK.

So what is gout and why am I devoting the best part of this blog to the condition? Let's do the science-y bit first.

This is courtesy of http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001459/

Gout is a kind of arthritis that occurs when uric acid builds up in blood and causes joint inflammation.

• Acute gout is a painful condition that typically affects one joint.
• Chronic gout is repeated episodes of pain and inflammation, which may involve more than one joint.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

Gout is caused by having higher-than-normal levels of uric acid in your body. This may occur if:

• Your body makes too much uric acid
• Your body has a hard time getting rid of uric acid

If too much uric acid builds up in the fluid around the joints (synovial fluid), uric acid crystals form. These crystals cause the joint to swell up and become inflamed.

The exact cause is unknown. Gout may run in families. It is more common in men, in women after menopause, and those who drink alcohol. People who take certain medicines, such as hydrochlorothiazide and other water pills, may have higher levels of uric acid in the blood.

The condition may also develop in people with:

• Diabetes
• Kidney disease
• Obesity
• Sickle cell anemia and other anemias
• Leukemia and other blood cancers

The condition may occur after taking medicines that interfere with the removal of uric acid from the body.

Symptoms

Symptoms of acute gout:

• Symptoms usually involve only one or a few joints. The big toe, knee, or ankle joints are most often affected.
• The pain starts suddenly, often during the night and is often described as throbbing, crushing, or excruciating.
• The joint appears warm and red. It is usually very tender (it hurts to lay a sheet or blanket over it).
• There may be a fever.
• The attack may go away in a few days, but may return from time to time. Additional attacks often last longer.

After a first gouty attack, people will have no symptoms. Half of patients have another attack.

Some people may develop chronic gout. Those with chronic arthritis develop joint damage and loss of motion in the joints. They will have joint pain and other symptoms most of the time.

Tophi are lumps below the skin around joints or in other places. They may drain chalky material. Tophi usually develop only after a patient has had the disease for many years.

Signs and tests

Tests that may be done include:

• Synovial fluid analysis (shows uric acid crystals)
• Uric acid - blood
• Joint x-rays (may be normal)
• Synovial biopsy
• Uric acid - urine

Not everyone with high uric acid levels in the blood has gout.

Treatment

Medicines should be taken as soon as possible if you have a sudden gout attack.

• Take nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as ibuprofen, naproxen, or indomethacin as soon as your symptoms begin. Talk to your health care provider about the correct dose. You will need stronger doses for a few days.
• Your health care provider may prescribe strong painkillers such as codeine, hydrocodone, and oxycodone.
• A prescription medicine called colchicine helps reduce pain, swelling, and inflammation.
• Corticosteroids can also be very effective. Your doctor may inject the inflamed joint with steroids to relieve the pain.
• The pain often goes away within 12 hours of starting treatment, and is completely relieved in 48 hours.

Daily use of allopurinol or probenecid decrease uric acid levels in your blood. Your doctor may prescribe these medicines if:

• You have several attacks during the same year or your attacks are quite severe
• You have damage to joints
• You have tophi
• You have uric acid kidney stones

Some diet and lifestyle changes may help prevent gouty attacks:

• Avoid alcohol
• Reduce how many purine-rich foods you eat, especially anchovies, sardines, oils, herring, organ meat (liver, kidney, and sweetbreads), legumes (dried beans and peas), gravies, mushrooms, spinach, asparagus, cauliflower, consommé, and baking or brewer's yeast.
• Limit how much meat you eat at each meal.
• Avoid fatty foods such as salad dressings, ice cream, and fried foods.
• Eat enough carbohydrates.
• If you are losing weight, lose it slowly. Quick weight loss may cause uric acid kidney stones to form.

See also: Kidney stones

Expectations (prognosis)

Proper treatment of acute attacks allows people to live a normal life. However, the acute form of the disease may progress to chronic gout.

Complications

• Chronic gouty arthritis
• Kidney stones
• Deposits in the kidneys, leading to chronic kidney failure

Calling your health care provider

Call for an appointment with your health care provider if you have symptoms of acute gouty arthritis.

Prevention

The disorder itself may not be preventable, but you may be able to avoid things that trigger your symptoms. Limit alcohol consumption and follow a low-purine diet.

Anyway,with the words "the exact cause of gout is unknown" ringing in my ears, back to the story.

On the 6th January this year I felt such extreme pain in the big toe of my right foot that hospital was the only option. Local doctors do exist and if it were a bad cold I'd have gone to see someone like that for the traditional remedy of broad spectrum antibiotics. This required more professional advice.

The treatment suggested by A&E (the place everyone goes when first arriving at a hospital) was a blood test which confirmed high levels of uric acid in my blood, and a course of medicines consisting of anti-inflammatory drugs and pain killers. Once those were finished in 3 days, there was a further course of 10 days tablets to reduce the acid level causing the painful crystals.

Today is the 27th January and I have just completed my second course of anti-inflammatory drugs and pain killers (yes, the gout returned just vdays after completing the treatment) and a visit to the hospital, this time to see an internist. The old Chinese-Indonesian doctor was sat in a wonderfully light and airy consulting room. On arriving, Yohana and |I were led past about 30 waiting patients to see the doctor. I'm not sure that all the patients were waiting to see the same doctor as me, or even if this doctor only saw Western patients, but I couldn't help feeling guilty.

An initial conversation, in a mixture of English and Indonesian, led to me lying on the consulting bed. This itself seemed odd. I know what I've got. The doctor could see from my records what I've got. Yet my blood pressure needed to be taken again (I can only assume that lying down is the best position for this). On recording that 80 /120 is indeed normal, the doctor, with surprising speed for a man of his years, reached down and yanked both of my big toes, casually commenting "no pain there then". One day, I hope to be in a position to return this same level of patient care to this mad old sawbones.

I was ushered out of his room with a prescription for a months supply of uric acid reducing tablets and told to come again once they were finished. That's it. No advice on what other things to do. No foods to eat or not to eat. no herbal remedies to supplement the tablets. That was it.

This is why I have little faithy in Indonesian medical expertise. I apologise to anyonbe reading this who feels slighted by my descriuption, but this is first hand (foot?) experience. On another occasion I'll add the story of the Indonesian surgeon who fitted my mother with an incorrectly sized hip.

Visa me Indonesian

I’ve been married for just over two months and time has come to plan a trip back home to the UK to show Yohana exactly what England is all about. To say that she’s excited is an understatement and she actually gave me a list of things that she wanted to do. In no particular order they included horseracing (I’m hoping she means watching, not riding) visiting a friend in Nottingham, castles, waterfalls and, oh yes, the Eiffel Tower.

For a moment I thought the same general knowledge that led her to believe that “Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter” was an accurate biographical retelling of Honest Abe’s younger life, ridding the world of demons, was encouraging her faith that the infamous tower was in fact in the UK. But no, she know’s it’s in Paris, and that Paris is in France, and wondered if it would be possible to go there at the same time as visiting the UK.

I was about to reel off a list of reasons, including distance, currency, language etc when it dawned on me that going from London to Paris must be similar to going from Jakarta to Bandung. With a bit of research it would appear that Bandung is 273 miles from Jakarta and the journey takes about 4 hours to get there. By car. London to Paris, on the other hand,  is only 211 miles and by using the Eurostar train, takes  2 hours and 15 minutes. In comfort. No traffic jams. Turns out we could even begin our journey in Darlington.

This all seemed to be fitting into place nicely but as with all best laid plans of mice and men, something was going to go wrong. I say wrong but I guess it’s just beaurecracy. France requires a different visa to the UK. Yep, let me repeat that with added perspective. France and the UK are in the European Union. They have trade links established to bring the European Community together. I can travel freely between all member states on my European British passport but it would appear that purchasing a British visa doesn’t allow Yohana the same freedom. The same visa that will allow us to enter France would also, if we chose, allow us to enter a number of other European countries, just not the UK, It would appear this is what happens when you use your veto too many times in the European parliament to say no to mandatory Bratwurst for breakfast. Both the UK and Euro visa, called a Shengen visa, would need to be applied for in advance.

Curiosity piqued, further investigation showed just how many countries will allow you to buy a visa on arrival (cheap option) and how many will expect you to buy it in advance (always more expensive). It all depends on nationality, different countries have different entry requirements. For instance, Indonesia offers sixty-five countries visa on arrival for the cost of $25 US Dollars.

So what about as a British Passport holder? Let’s look at the numbers. The number of countries that i can enter with a visa on arrival is increased to 167.  THERE ARE ONLY 196 COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD ALTOGETHER*. Yes, there are 29 countries where I have to apply in advance to enter, if they’ll let me in at all. Which countries can’t I enter this way? Well, that would be the likes of Noth Korea, amongst the few left. Actually of that 167 it’s free to enter many places too...French Guyana anyone?

*this figure changes quite often.

Now I know it’s a wiki site but it still provides a lot of  useful  information http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visa_requirements_for_British_nationals

According to the "Henley Visa Restrictions Index 2012", holders of a British citizen passport can visit 167 countries visa-free or with visa on arrival

The grey means a pre-arrival visa is needed, everything else is available visa free or VoA.

Lets compare that with the ability for Indoenesians to travel. Once you take out the black (diplomatic visas) and orange (special exemption) then you’re left with the dark blue (no visa) and light blue (visa on arrival) The red, by the way, is Indonesia itself.

So Indonesians can travel VOA to Senegal and Chad, where I have to apply for a visa in advance.....hmmm. I wonder what made Indonesia and Chad come to this arrangement. Maybe hundreds of Indonesians had a visit to Chad on their bucket lists and this encouraged the Indonesian and Chad governments to come to an arrangement. 

I saw some provocative pictures recently of the Indonesian President being honoured by our Queen for his excellent work in turning Indonesia into a democratic country with multicultural values. Trade-wise it doesn't increase faith in Indonesia enough to alter the visa situation though, does it.

what comes next in the sequence. Nationalism, Jingoism, ????

The road to a rational conclusion means being able to see the good and the bad in any situation, both sides of the coin as it were. This conclusion will always be subjective because it draws on things like your experience and upbringing among many other factors. The fact that you can perceive things that are bad, means only that you're observant, not necessarily critical. To be able to point out the good and the bad makes you a commentator, potentially creating debate among a community or informing others with little or no experience.

Sometimes foreign commentators when giving their opinion about a country, travel writers for instance, encounter nationalistic pride, or jingoism in extremes that say "who are they to comment on our beaches, or politics" So a counter argument for instance. Should only Cadbury be able to point out that their chocolate has flaws as well as some awesome taste experiences? Defensive behaviour limits an outcome, as often it is unnecessary (an opinion is still an opinion even if there is an excuse for the situation) or it can be intimidatory (we don't want to say anything negative in case it upsets one or more individuals).

Here's a short quiz to agree or disagree with. It's best if you are as honest as possible and have some support for your conclusion. That way your reasoning can be considered constructive.
1. Traffic problems in Jakarta are getting worse.
2. Jokowi will sort them out
3. The appointment of Jokowi/Ahok is evidence of multicultural changes in Indonesia.

I don't always agree with everything I hear, read or what is said directly to me, but I understand the commentator's right to their opinion and don't take it as a threat to everything I hold dear. Much the opposite really, on reflection I may see something that needs changing.

I'm a foreigner. I wasn't born in Indonesia but it's been my home for four years. I met and married Yohana, the most beautiful person I've ever met, who also happens to be Indonesian. She accepts my comments about Indonesia, sometimes she agrees and sometimes she doesn't. I'm looking forward to hearing her thoughts on the UK once we've visited but she agrees that I'm entitled to an opinion.

I'm not trying to change the way Indonesia is, just commenting on what I see. A very small minority of Indonesians believe this is unacceptable, that we should just accept inadequacies and keep quiet. Again, it's an opinion I respect, but ultimately disagree with.Indonesia considers itself to be advancing in terms of multiculturalism. I agree, we just need to keep reminding the minority.

A friend of mine is experiencing the same thing so by way of support, good luck J.

interview #1

so placement interviewing a 10 year old student earlier
me :i want you to ask me 3 questions
her : ok, do you know any diseases
(Q2): do you know any diseases about the back....I know some diseases
(Q3) Have you ever eaten marrowbone?

some days i ask myself, is it me?

My Wedding - a letter of explanation to a friend

So Penny, how can I explain an Indonesian wedding. Well, let’s start from the beginning....

Once we’d agreed to get married, Yohana, or Uciel as her nickname dictates, convinced me to use a wedding planner. Her sound reasoning said that, as we both work full-time, it would mean less stress overall. I’m not sure in hindsight whether that was right or not but I guess they organised a lot, even if they did leave one or two of the more important decisions to us, and a tad last minute at that.

Anyway, once we’d decided to use Natasya Wedding Planners, they met with us at our house and showed us what we could have. Basically there were food and entertainment packages and these could be applied to just about anywhere we chose. We’d already checked out a number of venues and had an idea of the place that we wanted but the more we looked into it we felt these other places were ripping us off. To use venues that already had their own caterers, they wanted to charge us service charges to use our own caterers. So, we came up with an awesome location.....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taman_Mini_Indonesia_Indah

On the outskirts of the city is a place called Taman Mini and it’s a park that, for want of a better explanation, is a miniature version of the whole of Indonesia. There are full sized replicas of houses that you can find on all of Indonesia’s islands as well as a lake with replicas of the islands themselves with the lake acting as the oceans, seas and straits that surround our archeapelago. All contained within a visitors park with cable cars and a great hotel, five minutes fromthe site of our wedding.

We chose North Sulawesi’s show house as our venue as it was a perfect size for 500 people. It caused a lot of confusion for many people who assumed it is where Uciel hails from. She’s actually from Klaten in Central Java.

But, back to the plan. I’ve split between clothing and the events for easiness sake....

Clothing
Originally I was going to have a light cotton suit in a fawn colour but on visiting the tailor provided by the wedding planners, this turned into a classic black suit with straight tie for the daytime and with the addition of a waistcoat for the evening. The best man and ushers were wearing the same (except for the waistcoat and their ties would be gold to match the bridesmaids.
Uciel had two dresses. One for the daytime, a classic, white kebaya (a traditional Indonesian dress which is easier to show than explain) which was made to measure and which she has kept. For the evening she wore a more western white wedding dress and, as she’s a little on the small side, it was short at the front and long at the back.

The girls were split into two groups. We had the bridesmaids and the ang-pao girls (more about the ang-pao later). They had simple dresses in white (bridesmaids) and gold (ang-pao girls)
My Dad and Uciel’s Stepdad wore normal suits (as it happened, they both wore grey)
As for the Mums, they wore matching gold kebaya in the eveing and their own dresses in the daytime.

Events
The day was split into two with the religious ceremony between 3pm and 5pm and the reception from 7pm until 9pm. It’s not acceptible to have no religion in Indonesia so if you want to get married without all of that you have to go to either Singapore or Bali, which is a Hindu dominated culture in Indonesia. Uciel is a protestant Christian so there was no messing about with swapping or converting religions as happens with people who marry Muslims.

The afternoon was exactly as you’d expect a wedding at home to be, albeit outside in glorious sunshine. The priest/pastor read sermons and we wear rings and sing hymns and I get to kiss the bride. Afterwards we sign a government document in the presence of a registrar and we’re officially married. To finish, it was just cake and tea for those who attended (about 100) while we went back to the park’s hotel where we’d booked rooms for our parents and us. Here the girls were able to re-do make-up and some people to change clothes. It was great being in the hotel and so close as we were able to chill with a beer or a coffee. Very relaxed.

The evening reception is what it’s really all about though. Muslim and Christain Javanese (from the island of Java) are complicated ceremonies with many formalities. I guess ours was a mix of both an Indonesian wedding and a western one.

The parents walk into the grounds first to be seated on a stage, followed by Uciel and I and then the best man and ushers paired off with the three bridesmaids. We take centre place on the stage, flanked by our parents, and we’re all sat in big armchairs and sofas (the male and female attendants now join the rest of the guests gathered at the venue.
There is an MC who narrates and guides the whole process...
1. approaching the stage
2. A prayer given by one of Uciel’s uncles
3. Cake cutting. Ok, this is the bit you’re really curious about. There were lots of tiers of cakes, but the symbolic cutting meant just pretending to slice the riers with a (real) knife, not a lightsabre The cakes are given to us to take away and distribute later.

4. Next was the toast. Some bottles of sparkling something (it looked like cherryade) is poured into a fountain of champagne glasses, after which, two bottles of Lanson were opened for the family. The toast is done with whatever is in your hand at the time. Most weddings are alcohol free events but we’d arranged a beer station giving bottles of beer away.
5. Speeches. This was a bit more western and my best man, Richard delivered a nervous, comedy-filled speech designed to poke fun at, and honour the two of us. After this my Dad gave his thanks to everyone. (Uciel’s stepdad is Korean and, I guess because of his accent and grasp of Indonesian, chose not to say anything)
6. Craziness. In our wedding plan, we were offered the choice of doing whatever we wanted here. We could dance, or have a quiz or, as most Indonesians do, do nothing. Our idea was to give a prize to someone. So we had a dance competition........ “Gangnam Style” . This, I swear, will ensure our wedding winds up in local legend as I’ve been told people have never seen anything like this before.
7. Throwing the bouquet. This was followed by a volley of fireworks located in the footlights of the stage, again, rather unusual by Indonesian standards.
8. Finally people climb the stage to greet us and the parents and then have group and individual photographs taken.
9 I said finally but it wasn’t. As 9pm approaced we were led from the stage by one of my teachers, Mike, for what he promised was a “special” surprise. He wasn’t kidding.
In our invitations we’d included the lyrics of a song. One from me to Uciel and one from her to me. I had chosen Peter Gabriel’s “In your Eyes” which you might know from the movie “Say Anything”with John Cusack. Uciel had chosen “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perry. Well, we sat on chairs in front of three of my teachers. Mike and guitar, Eric and ukelele and Chelsea with her flute, supported by two of our admin girls, Jessica and Dea on vocals. Then a microphone was pushed into my hand as i heard the opening bars of “In Your Eyes” and I sat and sang it to Uciel. This was followed by her singing her song to me.
To say this came as a surprise to us both is a complete and utter understatement (we needed the song sheets for the words!) but what it did do was end our night more perfectly than I can tell you. Even now, five days after the wedding, I am at a complete loss for words to describe the emotion I felt (and knowing how well you know me, I know you also can’t imagine me lost for words!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v5d3WHVQFY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtOvBOTyX00

I never did get back to the part about the ang-pao. Well, as Indonesia has a huge Chinese demographic, it has adopted some Chinese customs and this is one of them. Instead of buying wedding presents, people put mney into an envelope as a present. I guess this was intended as a start for most newly-wed’s married lives and it’s continued as a tradition.

I hope this goes some way to clearing up confusions and I know I will have missed some stuff out. Please feel free to ask me anything at all Penny.

The end result is that something I thought would never happen, has happened. I’m married to the most beautiful woman in the world and I’m happier than a person has a right to be.